New Book Review: "Claimed by the Yakuza" by Ariel London

Official Synopsis:

“If being with you puts me in danger, why is it that I only feel safe when I’m in your arms?”

Kenichi

I’ve been killing men since college and my father raised me to take his crown. Now he’s dead and I have sworn to avenge him.

I hired Cassandra to do one thing: teach me English to help expand our family business. Before our first lesson starts, I claim her curvy body and show her who’s boss. It only takes once, and she’s addicted to me. Twice, and she’s caught in the crossfire between me and my rivals.

They’ve messed with me one too many times. If they think they can take her from me, they’re wrong. Dead wrong.

Cassandra
I came to Tokyo to teach English, but I never expected to be tutoring a Yakuza mob boss!

After one scorching pre-lesson f*ck, he’s all I can think about. His possessive attitude only makes me want him more. The further we go, the more dangerous it gets. Every time he gets closer to revenge, his dark side is exposed and my innocence is stripped away.

I should know better than to play with the Japanese mafia, but how can I let him go when he’s the one person who makes me feel alive?

Set in the gritty underworld of Tokyo, Claimed by the Yakuza is a stand-alone dark romance between a dangerous bad boy and a fiery heroine with sinfully sexy scenes, gripping action and a happily ever after!

Details:

Author—Ariel London

Publisher—Self-published

Genre—Romance

Sub-genre—Contemporary

Date Published—August 11, 2016

Pages—110 (on Kindle)

Setting—Contemporary Japan

Main Characters—Kenichi Himura and Cassandra Haynes

Review:

I received a free copy for review from the author.

Spoilers

I want to say first that I had higher than average hopes for this one solely based on the cover. Ms. London did an excellent job in making it attractive and able to stand out among the numerous self-published novellas on Amazon. Unfortunately, the writing left a lot to be desired.

*Characters:

Kenichi's primary motivation is getting revenge on the man who murdered his father. His other motivation is for his Yakuza gang to learn English in order to more easily access American markets. These are pretty much his only drivers and the only “personality traits” we get. He has no reason for falling in love with Cassandra, other than he finds her very attractive.

Cassandra is even worse. She has come to Japan, having just graduated from her university, to teach English as an assistant English teacher. There are a few brief lines about her adjustment to Japan and its culture, but that is the extent of the “characterization” we see. She doesn't think logically and she also has no reason for falling in love with Kenichi, other than his “hotness”.

*Story:

There are many flaws in logic within this story, to the point where one has to suspend their disbelief too much in order to believe certain actions. Cassandra accidentally loses her ID, which Kenichi finds. He essentially blackmails her into teaching his gang English in order to get her ID back. Not only that, but he offers her a ride home after said blackmailing and she accepts.

Firstly, a lost ID card can be replaced and is definitely not worth risking your life for. The idea is that Cassandra finds Kenichi attractive enough to go along with it anyway, but she knows he's Yakuza—her friends somehow recognize who he is, despite his belonging to a self-admitted minor Yakuza gang—and it makes no sense why she would put herself in danger for an ID card.

Secondly, The Yakuza are well-known for their involvement in the sex trade, and a young white female with no family in Japan would be a prime target. Cassandra barely argues the point and gives in easily, again because Kenichi is “hot.” This complete lack of logic skips over what could very well have been interesting and compelling character and story development.

Another major flaw in logic I cannot ignore is the glossing over of the unsavory aspects of the Yakuza. While Kenichi states his Yakuza gang is more involved in “legitimate” ventures, such as hostess clubs and bars, he does state the primary Yakuza business in America is drugs. This is brought up exactly once and never mentioned again. Oh, the business with America part is brought up plenty, but never the specifics. Also, Cassandra knows Kenichi has killed people, and eventually sees him kill someone in front of her. While these acts could be justified in the context of the narrative, Cassandra seems to have no qualms about this whatsoever. There is no internal struggle, no crippling doubt, no attempt at further characterization at all.

The last flaw in logic absolutely baffled me, because there were plenty of logical ways around it and yet the author chose the illogical route. The rival gang somehow knows who Cassandra is and that she is Kenichi's woman, which is believable. However, what isn't believable is how a member of a rival gang could get into Kenichi's condo and lie in wait for her. Even a small Yakuza gang would have men on their leader's home and/or escorting or tailing their leader's woman. The author could have circumvented this by having the gang take out her escorts while in route somewhere and then kidnap her. But no, the guy just happens to be in Kenichi's condo.

*Technique

There were two big technical flaws I noticed when reading “Claimed by the Yakuza”. The first occurs near the end of the novella with one of Cassandra's chapters that comes after one of Kenichi's. A good portion of it is exactly copy and pasted from the previous chapter, to the point where the author didn't delete a few lines specifically referring to Kenichi's POV: these were line-for-line identical. When trying to show the events of a scene from two POVs, this is a classic mistake, to regurgitate all the same information. It's very easy to quickly summarize the events from the second person's POV and continue the scene, rather than waste time repeating information.

The second was the choice of genre/sub-genre. This book should either have been a full-size novel or an erotica. This type of story sets itself up to have enough material to fill a novel: the revenge aspect, trying to get Cassandra to teach English, reconciling all the mixed emotions involved in dating a Yakuza, etc. What we get is a bare-bones story with barely any characterization with some sex thrown in. Had the story been tightened up a bit and the sex been overhauled for an erotica market, this would have made a far better erotica than a “dark romance” is it was marketed.

Ratings:

Hotness Rating: 5/10

Overall Rating: D-

I don't think the writing is awful, as I can see a lot of potential in it. The author suffers from a lot of novice pitfalls that eventually get worked out through practice. More reading and more writing will really help iron out a lot of these faults. And the sex was decent, which is the only reason I'm not giving it a lower rating.

Check out my video review here: https://youtu.be/fuVKxKocjLc

If you would like to purchase a copy of “Claimed by the Yakuza” you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01K9886US

Mary